ラングリッチ193,194 添削

Kathy先生
英作文添削

自分の意図したことを話して確認してほしかったので、#311fromjapanに向けた記事の添削をお願いする。（lang-8の500語以内用）
修正してlang-8に投稿。
http://lang-8.com/322166/journals/1326093/%25281-5%2529This-is-a-draft-of-%2523311fromjapan

Kindness And Return　#311fromjapan

We had a terrible calamity last March here in Japan. The earthquake and tsunami hit our country.
I was working at my office in Tokyo when the first big quake hit at 2:46 pm.
Since I had to pick up my 2-year-old daughter up at the nursery near my house, which is approximately 20 km away, I departed from the office after I checked the map and traffic information.
According to it, all trains going to to go the direction were stopped.
The long line was made to aboard buses and taxies and I couldn't find any vehicles to ride.A lot of people are lining up to board the buses and taxis and there is no available vehicle for me to ride on.
Therefore, it took me approximately 5 hours on foot despite the fact that I was five months pregnant at that time.

Fortunately, I was able to contact with my husband to send through e-mails each other,(my husband and I was able to contact each other through email) although because the telephone line was busy, and we could so we agreed to meet at his office which was on the way.

The street was full of pedestrians and cars, however, there were no terrible turmoil.
I've never felt didn't feel sad because I supposed believed that the walkers people walking by  were a party somehow friends to that shared our the same experiences and feelings as I have.
Some people who were not only local government officials but also citizens like restaurant owners were very kind enough to give us hot drinks and let allowed us to use their bathrooms.

In a A few weeks later, it was difficult to buy some necessaries necessities because several people already bought them up all of what we needed at home.
I talked with my co-workers that there were few toilet papers left at home, so I got worried if I couldn't buy it that I won't be able to buy some at all.
One of my colleagues gave me some toilet papers the next day, although I never told wanted her to give me it some and I meant it was small talk to be nothing serious.
I really appreciated her.

以下、未添削。
After the incident, I wanted to do something for the people in the area where the tsunami hit hard.
My husband and I sent some goods like toilet papers, diapers and some goods for babies.
And we also donated money to the Red Cross.
Truth be told, I had never sent something like that to victims before the earthquake happened.
Since I'm really glad to receive kindness from other people, I am also trying to give that back to others.

On the other hand, I convinced that it is necessary to prepare such an emergency.
I suggest four things to do.
1. Recognition
 We should realize that disasters may happen anywhere and anytime. We should get rid of the delusion that only I will be safe.
2. Stock
 We should buy enough necessities, such as water, foods, diapers, a flashlight, a radio, protections against the cold and so on.
3. Connection
 We should have some tools to contact with relatives in addition to a mobile phone, such as e-mail, twitter or facebook.
4. Consensus
 We should decide how to do and where to go for each family, company and school.


-One of my bookshelves collapsed in spite of having been fixed.

-I gave birth safely on July and my baby is growing up healthily.